Random Musings~The F-Word!


Posted on by Patricia Leever

Bonjour ma petit love monkeys!

How about a little eye candy to get you over the the hump that is Wednesday?

Now, I was going to use a smaller version of this delectable photo of Mr. Joe Manganiello, but…come on…he’s wet AND dirty. Did I mention that he’s WET?!? Y’all know my views on hot, wet men, it’s kind of a given.

Okay so, now that I have your attention, let’s move on. So I just got back from an evening at the 5th level of Hell, aka, Chuck E Cheese. Dear Lord, that place is just one giant petri dish isn’t it? Ick. I truly think that when horribly bad people die they are sent to live forever inside a Chuck E Cheese and listen to nothing but recorder music, for that is what I believe is the official instrument in Hell.

Anywhoo, there was one good thing about Chez Cheese, it is incredibly loud. Like, you can’t even form a semi intelligent thought loud. But luckily that was the one advantage to my evening. You see, it’s no big secret that I’m a gassy gal. I heard recently that a person only farts 12 times a day. Really? Come on, I KNOW I can bust 12 times in a freaking HOUR! Oh yeah, it’s true, I don’t deny it and if you are around me for any decent length of time you will find it out. Granted some days are gassier than others and it was one of those days. But thanks to the ear splitting, shrill child shrieks I could pass the loudest, cheek vibrating fart and no one was the wiser.

Which brings me to wonder why are farts so wrong? Why is it only acceptable for guys to rip ’em and laugh at them? Why is it wrong for women to find them funny? I mean, I do and I’m not going to lie, especially when I’m the farter in a loud venue. I don’t know why but it’s something about it being my little secret that makes it so giggle worthy. But why are women looked down upon of feel like they have to be “above” such humor? I applaud the women of the movie Bridesmaids because they took on the fart and some pretty nasty stuff and showed you that it was okay for a woman to laugh at it. And yet I still know women that refuse to fart in front of their spouses or significant others. Shouldn’t that be the one person that you should be able to fart in front of? If not then I’ve been doing it wrong for 21 years because my hubs knew I farted when we were dating. I figured if he was going to love me, he was going to have to love all the parts of me, fart parts included! So I say, ladies, let ‘er rip! Crack one off the next time you are relaxing and watching TV because if you think your man (or lady) doesn’t think you fart, I have news for you, you can’t hold in a fart when you are sleeping.

Okay, that’s all I have for you today my darlings, stay tuned for more blog fun on Friday! And remember, everyone farts, it’s okay to admit that you do, it’s also okay to admit that they are funny, you know you laugh when no one is looking anyway 😉

Until next time,
Patty <3

 

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Patricia Leever